Forty Something Parents

The Ins & Outs of Parenting

A Mother’s Prayer

5 Comments

The Joy of Innocents

 

Awoke early this morning — my mind an abundance of thoughts. The sun has-yet to show its face as I sit here and try to find my words. Still…nothing. Laying in bed this morning, I had so many things to say; if only I could record what I am thinking right when it strikes. But, my dreams remain elusive to the writing I attempt this cold, crisp…late December day.

I have been thinking a lot about my older children: the one’s who are now grown in years, but still so young in mentality; the one’s who are still not talking to me, mostly…I suspect, because they feel guilty for writing such harsh things about me on Facebook and disrespecting me worse than I ever imagined they could…or would. My heart was shattered that day; the day I had no choice but to block my own kids from my social page. I still can’t believe it wasn’t all a terrible nightmare.
But…it is only another day in my life…with my adult kids constantly blaming me for anything…everything that has ever gone wrong for them. Will it ever end? I wonder…

I pray that my youngest–still in her toddler years–will have a milder temperament when it comes to forgiveness, understanding, loving another unconditionally. I suspect, because she is partially of a different genetic pool, that she will not be so difficult as my other two have always been. There has been no break from drama for the past 10 to 15 years. Never a dull moment with those two. I miss when they were young and still so innocent and sweet. I worry where I went wrong; hoping I won’t make the same mistakes with Baby.

Being a mom is the single-most difficult, scary, frustrating, heartbreaking, rewarding, priceless job a woman can do in her lifetime. Being a dad is equally the same for dedicated fathers who stand by their wife (or ex-wife…be-it-so) through it all.

I commend those parents who seem to have it down to a science; the ones who have reared their children so well. I look up to them…and envy them, all at once.
The only thing I have left to do these days…so it seems, is pray.

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Author: gypsyvinrose

Just a Vagabond Family who chooses not to fit into societal measures. We strive to live a simple life, below our means....somewhere out there, preferably Off the Grid. Our lifestyle and the way we live has often labeled us 'Gypsies', which in-part was the inspiration behind Gypsy Vin Rose --our folk and gypsy-soul vocal duo. My husband Nico and I write, compose, and perform all original songs about our experiences out there on the road...giving in to Wanderlust. Hear us at https://store.cdbaby.com/Artist/GypsyVinRose. When we're not writing new songs, I write books -- women's fiction, children's books...you name it! My latest work is Monday...Super-Fun Day; which teaches the days of the week to young readers. It is my first (and most rewarding) effort at illustrating in watercolors, and my debut children's picture book. On Sale Now! Order your copy at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, or where ever quality books are sold. Follow links from my author page at http://www.pennyespinoza.com. At this writing, we are winding-down on the renovation and remodeling of our once-trashed-out vintage travel trailer we rescued from a deer lease, which is now our lovely island bungalow 'Mermaid Mansion'. It has been an on-going saga since day-one, but a learning experience none-the-less. We invite you to step into our lives as we try to learn from our failures as well as our successes. After all...the journey is always the best part. May you find your path in life, as we are always seeking to do. Blessings and .V.. (Peace) GVR

5 thoughts on “A Mother’s Prayer

  1. Stumbled across this post by accident … and was compelled into a strange silence. I even had to double check that this wasn’t actually my own mum writing this lol! Our relationship was strained for some years, after being insanely close growing up, but over the last couple of months it has gotten SO much better.

    Just give it time, everythings ok in the end and if its not ok its not the end (i think thats the saying) x

    Like

    • Thank you so much for writing. I have to say that I realize I am not alone when it comes to family drama and adult children. I have made so many mistakes over the years; this I admit. I have apologized from the deepest depth of my heart. And I have thought, at times, I was really forgiven for my wrongs; only to have a distorted view of the past (completely opposite recollections) thrown back at me over and over and over again. It has been never ending, and exhausting, to say the least.

      I love my adult children deeply, but they have recently disrespected me with the worst kind of profanity on FB. I did not reciprocate the harsh words, but I did tell the truth from where I stand. Where I come from, growing up in the 70’s, we were often seen and not heard, and never…ever would we have said such words to our parents…no matter how mad we were at them. My how times have changed.

      Even still, I did try to contact them both on Christmas, but they forwarded my call. And the most heartbreaking thing of all–that my little grandson does not have a choice at to whether or not he is close to his Grandmommy. I miss him: his pretty little face. I have spoiled my kids, I’m afraid, to the point of rotten. I was a young, single mom and I think I might’ve over-compensated for what I felt I couldn’t give them in life. I don’t really know. I just hope and pray I don’t mess things up this time around. ‘Feeling pretty down about the whole ordeal. : (

      I don’t know if things will ever be the same after what-all has happened this time. I almost feel dead to them. But, either way…I will do as you advise. I will give it time. As that seems to be all I really can do…besides pray.

      Blessings to you and yours this Seasona and into the New Year. Thanks again for your comments. : )

      Like

      • It’s insane how similar this is to my situation, or my previous situation. I was having a baby during the time me and my mum had stopped speaking, and it is hard, I totally understand both sides of the coin because I get that it is important you see your grandson and I also get that it may be difficult for your daughter as it was for me.

        Social networking sites are dangerous in situations like this because the relationships are so delicate, words written in anger or hurt are impossible to take back once posted in such a public forum and to make matters worse are often interpreted in ways that may not necessarily have been intended.

        It’s difficult to offer advice, but I’m sure your kids want a relationship with you, maybe just in time! xxxx

        Have a lovely christmas period xx

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      • Thank you so very much for your words of advise. : ) You have a Very Wonderful New Year! Please…keep in touch? I will as well.

        Blessings!

        Like

      • I definitely will keep in touch xxx!xxx

        Like

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