Forty Something Parents

The Ins & Outs of Parenting


1 Comment

Paddle Boarding — Never Too Young

I never could’ve imagined doing water-sports back when I was six years old; let alone paddle boarding or surfing.  I grew up inland, though I was never a land-lubber.  But as I stood watching my daughter stand with ease on a paddle board this past Saturday, balancing upon Mother Ocean, I couldn’t have been more proud of her natural abilities.

Looking back to my own childhood, I realize now that I wasn’t quite the athletic type.  I didn’t even learn to ride a bicycle until I was 10 years old!  But once I did — feeling the wind blow through my hair…free as the breeze — I was hooked.  And to this day, I still love riding my bike more than most things I’ve ever done.

As for my young daughter, I can hardly wait to see her gliding on top of the water.  And soon after she’s paddle boarding, I hope we can introduce her to the art of surfing.  Being island transplants — known as IBC’s (Islanders By Choice) — to our Gulf Coastal home, I feel our little-one will grow up knowing what it really means to blend with nature.  And I too, will come to know Mother Ocean’s embrace like I was never able to when I was a child.  Just as we are never too young to try new and daring things, neither are we ever too old.

*Live the Life You Love*  #NeverTooYoungToPaddleBoard #NeverTooOldToPaddleBoard #LearningNewThings #EveryDayAdventures #PaddleBoarding


Leave a comment

Field Trip: The Grand Children’s Festival

–Fun…FREE Activities For Home School (or Traditionally Schooled) Kids–

In my last post, I wrote briefly about this past weekend…when we attended the Children’s Festival down in the Strand District.  It’s a really fun time for kids of all ages, and very family friendly.  Best of all, the festival is FREE!  And even though this was our first year to attend, we certainly don’t plan on it being our last.

In the meantime — I wanted to share some of the fun moments from this past festival.  The numerous booths and activities were enough to keep us busy for the entire weekend; though the event is only for one day.

The learning experiences that Nixi was able to be a party to, I feel, will stay with her for years to come.  As for me…?  I realized I’m absolutely no good at hoola-hooping, but I  can still do the Lemon Twist; or an updated version of the old classic jumping toy I used to love as a kid.  It was great to show my husband and child, that this middle-aged Mamma can still ‘cut-a-rug’.  I look back on it, and I have to laugh.  –As I feel I’ll do…for years to come.

*Forever Young*

*Being Young-at-Heart*

*Remaining Active Over 40*

 

 

 


Leave a comment

A Day In the Life of a Homeschooling Mom

Learning from Play-dates & Playground Mayhem —

It never fails, right when you think you’re onto something good–someone has to come along and throw a chink in your chain of play-date fun!  And, at the end of the day, if you’re lucky, you can take a learning experience away from a bad situation on the playground.

A little while back, a few of us moms got together for what thought was a very enjoyable play-date.  That was two months ago, and already, such gatherings have already left a bad taste in my mouth (figuratively speaking, of course).  But, even still, I feel I’ve gotten to know my little one better for-having suffered through a recent ‘play-date gone awry’.

For some reason, my little’n did not seem to ‘take’ to a few of the kids on the playground that day.  And, for reasons I can gather as immaturity, another one of the moms thought it was okay to reprimand my daughter…when was doing a fine job of nipping my kiddo’s bad behavior in-the-bud.

It wasn’t the first time this other mom had had the nerve to try and correct my daughter, but…on this occasion, I made sure it was the last.  Never mind that her son brought a toy to the playground that he was set on not sharing.  Never mind that–whether she thinks she knows it all when it comes to parenting–she will never know my daughter better than I.

So, we all parted ways.  And not a moment too soon!  I was fast-losing patience with her rudeness, and my fire was about to erupt like a volcano.  We headed for home.  I went over it all in my head, trying not to let it consume too much of my time.

I knew that my daughter’s behavior had nothing to do with the kids at the playground; though I had-yet to figure out why she had behaved like such a stinker that day.  And…mind you, it was only the boys she seemed to not like.  My daughter and another little girl–the daughter of a very nice and respectful home school mom who was also there–made fast-friends.  And when it was time to leave, the other little girl came and hugged my little one.

So, there I was…a few days later, still stumped as-to-why my daughter seemed to play favorites.  I knew there had to be a lesson to learn in all of it; if nothing else but to be more choosy about potential friends and playmates.

Then…it washed over me like a cool wave of Mother Ocean!  –My daughter had been jealous, but not of the kids more than the fact that I was not there playing with her like I usually do. Instead, I was talking and spending time with the other mothers.  My reason for coming to this conclusion was simple really.

The last time my daughter and I had a play-date with the ‘know it all’ super rude mom, I made the mistake of sharing my personal world with her and her child.  Remembering back to that day, my daughter had started to act whiny and very pout-y.  I knew from that recollection that my little one was simply not used to sharing me with anyone.  It’s always just the two of us when my husband isn’t home.

When my husband is home, we all spend time together — it isn’t him doing his thing, and me doing mine.  We do everything as a family.  Our daughter thrives on this commitment to family.  I see other moms who are always with their kids alone.  This…alone, helps me to see how good I really have it that my husband is always available for us.

And even though no one could ever pay me enough to join the rude mom for another play-date, I feel fortunate for having gone through such an ordeal, and witnessing her response to my daughter.  It has taught me a thing or two about respect, and being more respectful to others…simply because I respect myself.  It has taught me to be more patient with my daughter, and to understand that sometimes…she just likes it to be us, having fun as a family.

*Never let toxic people infect you with their misery*

**Live the life you love…with those you love the most.**

 


Leave a comment

Finding Your Inner-Child…Late in Life

 

Who needs the Fountain of Youth when you have a Toddler and a positive attitude!  Feeling young, and staying young, is as easy as remembering your own childhood.  Here’s how I rediscovered my Inner Child…(click on pic or link for more).

Biking at Big Lagoon SRA, near Perdido Key, FL

Biking at Big Lagoon SRA, near Perdido Key, FL

http://voices.yahoo.com/forty-something-years-young-7804120.html?image=1513808&cat=44


Leave a comment

Ringing in the New Year…on the Sands of Time

Writing & Wanderlust

Memories of one New Year, spent on the Sands of Time.

Image

View original post


1 Comment

Photographic Memories of One Mamma-razzi Mom

Click on Pic for more…

Image


1 Comment

A White Christmas For Baby

One magical Christmas, when our Baby was as new as the freshly fallen snow.

The Blessings of Baby's First Christmas

The Blessings of Baby’s First Christmas


Leave a comment

The Scent of Longing

I woke up this morning wishing I could call my mom; and wondering when my oldest daughter will get over the thing she thinks was bad enough to not speak to me for over 3 months.  If only I could have just three more months with my mom, I’d be the happiest girl in the world.  I miss her so bad on most days, that it’s unbearable.  She was a forty-something mom too. 

So many times she’d tell me the story of how I came to be; how my Daddy gave me my name; how I would always be her baby.  My heart continues to hurt.  I wish I could call her and have her be the mediator between me and my oldest daughter ‘M’.  I miss her pretty face.  I miss my precious little grandson; his smile that will light up any dark day or pitch-black room.  He is a gem…a priceless gem!  And I haven’t gotten to see him…hold him…smell the way my little guy smells; like a bit of dried up milk and…well…like my grandson. 

We all have our own scent; that one way we smell to those around us, whether it be good or bad.  When you love someone, that scent-of-a-person is always a welcoming thing; like going home after being away for a long…long time.  My mom always smelled like Roses and perfume; an indescribable scent that belonged only to her. 

I can open the jewelry box that I inherited; the one that had belonged to Mom since I can’t remember—perhaps longer than I’ve been alive—and it still has her scent.  I’m careful not to open it too often…so-as not to lose it forever.  At least that way, I still have my mom…at least a little.   

Even still, knowing the changes that will be taking place in our lives this coming month; the changes that are already taking shape, I want to see and talk to…to hug my ‘M’ and little ‘J’ even more.  My heart hurts more and more with every thought and wonder of how they are doing.  Are they safe…?  Are they happy…?  How much bigger is my little guy now than he was back in December; the last time I got to hold him in my arms all night because he was down with a fever and his mom had something to do.  I wish I could make it all right again.  I wish…I could cry more often…to release the years of pain and hurt built-up inside of my heart.  I wish my kids could see inside of me…inside my heart, then they would never have any doubt about how much I really do love them.  Nothing will ever change that.

So now I am faced with the tasks at hand: too many to mention in one sitting.  It is time to roll with the wind once more…and see what needs to be seen.  I have sat here day after day, wondering when it will all seem new again; when my kids will pull up into the drive; when it will all be better, but it is still just what it is.  That is why I have to go with the flow–do what needs to be done, face what needs to be faced, and hope and pray that one day…soon, my family will all be one once again.  We will all be alright…truly better for having suffered through this time; minus of course that one void we will never be able to fill.  My mom is still not with us.  I miss her.  I miss her. 

*Love like there is no tomorrow.  Forgive like you wish to be forgiven*  


5 Comments

Growing Up Too Soon

Not a Worry in the World--the way it should be.

Not a Worry in the World–the way it should be.

Its kinda crazy-funny how some parents think their toddlers should be able to ‘do it all’ when it comes to reciting their A B C’s, numbers, shapes, colors…everything in between. It never fails to amaze me what some parents expect. I for one have almost fallen into that same rut a time or two; but I catch myself…sit back…take a deeeeep breath, and relax. I begin to realize that my daughter will only hold the innocence of a child for as long as I let her be just that: a child.

Yes…I have caught myself second-guessing whether she should be doing this or that at her age. Should she be talking better, should she be completely potty trained, should she know her age…her last name…yada yada yada. Sometimes I have to slap myself back into reality, and ask myself: Do toddlers really have to know all that much to be happy, or is the so-called teaching and coaching really being done for the good of our child or for our own bragging rights? I have my opinion, which I’m sure would differ from many.

Why…just the other day, we were at the playground and a mother started having her kid recite the alphabet while on the swing. Okay…seems like no big deal. But, shouldn’t that time be left for relaxing and having fun? A kid is only a kid once, and we all know what happens when childhood is over–we are left only with adulthood and doing what is expected of us for the rest of our born days.

If you ask me–I’ll take being a kid anyday! As for mixing business with pleasure–that never works either. My toddler will only be a ‘single-digit number’ for a short time, and I want to keep her young as long as I possibly can. I want to protect her from the harshness of this world. I want to let her learn in a relaxed way. Then…when she’s really grown into adulthood, she will have learned things–really learned things–that she wants to know and remember that Mom (that’s me) let her be a kid while she had that wonderous time to be one.

Looking back on my own childhood, I know now that I grew up too soon. I pray that Baby will be forever young. Such innocence is priceless. So very priceless.

*Blessed are we who can remain forever young*


8 Comments

THE ART OF FORGIVENESS

Any mother who has ever bonded with her child–and most-likely we all have–has come to learn the Art of Forgiveness.  And during the course of nurturing our kids into adulthood, we’ve likely noticed along the way that our kids don’t always inherite that same tendency to forgive; Which brings me to the other day.

My son turned twenty on the 26th, and if you’ve read my prior posts in this blog you see that I’ve been on the outs with my adult kids for a while now.  It all comes down to respect, knowing one’s place in the family status, maturity, being ‘kind’ to one another, and — yes…you guessed it — forgiveness.

Last month (it seems like so long ago to me), I had a disagreement with my oldest daughter ‘M’.  Well, it has long-been her practice to hold a grudge til it screams for her to let it go.  She doesn’t…ever!  She throws things up from the past, and more-often that not, it is a very distorted…one-sided recolection, at best. 

Enter my son.  He was somehow dragged into the disagreement between me and M.  They both linched me on Facebook…their ‘friends’ joined in the linching…so on and so forth, until I had to block them all.  I use FB mostly for business promo, so this was a major embarrassment.  Either way, it tore my heart out that my kids (especially my son…who had absolutely nothing to do with the disagreement), turned on me so furotiously. 

So…I have tried to move on and smooth it all over since then.  And all the while I ask myself ‘Why am I reaching out to them when they both disrespected me so vulgerly on FB?’.  It’s simple…yet complicated.  I forgive my kids no matter what they do to me…or say to me.  I love them and love is forgiving.

Trouble is, they aren’t forgiving…at all!  I contacted my son for his birthday, and he wasn’t having it. 

Yes…my husband (his step-dad) took up for me and told them both to stay away –since we have a very impressionable toddler to worry about teaching–until they learned respect and knew their bounderies…their places in this family.  It seems the kids are now trying to control the parents in many families across the country or world.  In my day, we wouldn’ve never…EVER talked to our parents like my kids have talked to me, nor would we have ever acted the way my kids have acted.  I loved my parents, which showed in my behavior. 

Now, I’m left to wonder–Do my kids even love me?  It’s not looking so much like they do.  How do I know?  They are bitter, full of hate for me, and most of all…unforgiving.  I might not have been the best mom in the world, but against the odds I was dealt way back when I was bringing them into adulthood (being a single mom with a manipulating ex husband and inlaws), it was me against the world.  There were too many people butting into our business, and I didn’t know until it was too late and my kids had already sided against me with other ‘friends’ who only wanted to be popular with other parents’ teens.  They hadn’t even grown up themselves!

Needless to say, this has been a uphill emotional battle with my kids.  No one knows my side of the story unless they read it here, because I choose not to air my dirty laundry on FB.  But…I have to let it out somehow.  So…here I sit and pour my heart out to readers of my blog.  And I find often that I’m just one in a million-billion Moms who have gone through so much for their kids…only to be stomped on when they grow into ‘kids in adult bodies’. 

I know my kids have a LOT of growing up to do!  I blame ‘Generation E’ (E meaning entitlement) on many of these dumb shows airing on ‘the WB’ or similar networks; these ‘teeny-bopper soaps’ where the youngsters are living posh lifestyles (courtesy of their parents’ hard work), driving fancy cars (Mom and Dad bought), and playing adult roles (they are way too young to handle).  I’d rather go the the dentist’s chair than watch such garbage. But that is what our young minds of tomorrow are absorbing.  Hog Wash!

Enough venting…

I just keep asking myself where I went wrong.  And often-times I can look back and see a lot of what I should’ve or shouldn’t have done.  Still, I’ve been told by my friends who have known me through-out my kids’ upbringing–friends with kids the same age, who have faced the same challenges, who really…really knew me–that perhaps I had spoiled my kids too much.  Looking back, this former room-mother, fashion designer/seamstress for my kids, bakery chef and host of two birthday-parties-a-year for 15+ years, nightly book reader, Mom who took my kids to work because their dad didn’t show up, diaper changer, feeder, soothing, nurturer, so on and so forth, just might have catered to my older kids a bit too much. 

The point is, there is no way…ever, that a Mom’s services-rendered can be listed.  The list is endless and it continues to grow no matter how old our kids.  And my third list, the one for my toddler, will be endless too.  That’s okay with me.  A mother never keeps tabs really, we just continue to do what we do; all the while hoping our kids will someday grow up to return the kindness and understanding…and the forgiveness

Moms have dreams too.